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The Science of Vampirism

Vampires Versus Zombies

By Hugo Pecos

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The above poster may seem fanciful today, but in ancient times zombies and vampires were frequently pitted against each other for the enjoyment of bloodthirsty spectators. So which is more formidable? It's a question I'm commonly asked. In the vernacular of boxing, here is the tale of the tape:

Attribute Vampires Zombies Advantage
Brain Highly Developed Barely Functional Vampires
Eyes Night Vision Extreme Myopia Vampires
Sense of Smell Above Average Exceptional Zombies
Hearing Exceptional Impaired Vampires
Jaws Powerful Vice-Like Zombies
Nervous System Normal Capable of Repair Zombies
Circulatory System Resilient Virtually Indestructible Zombies
Strength Exceptional Powerful Grip Vampires
Speed/Agility Advanced Stiff-Limbed, Slow Vampires

When vampires and zombies were pitted together in one-on-one combat, the vampire's advantage in the areas of speed/agility and brain power would usually be enough to trump the zombie's indestructibility. But the zombic tendency to cluster together in large packs often spelled trouble for vampires when the two met out in the real world.

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