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The Science of Vampirism

Vampires Versus Zombies

By Hugo Pecos

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The above poster may seem fanciful today, but in ancient times zombies and vampires were frequently pitted against each other for the enjoyment of bloodthirsty spectators. So which is more formidable? It's a question I'm commonly asked. In the vernacular of boxing, here is the tale of the tape:

Attribute Vampires Zombies Advantage

Brain Highly Developed Barely Functional Vampires

Eyes Night Vision Extreme Myopia Vampires

Sense of Smell Above Average Exceptional Zombies

Hearing Exceptional Impaired Vampires

Jaws Powerful Vice-Like Zombies

Nervous System Normal Capable of Repair Zombies

Circulatory System Resilient Virtually Indestructible Zombies

Strength Exceptional Powerful Grip Vampires

Speed/Agility Advanced Stiff-Limbed, Slow Vampires

When vampires and zombies were pitted together in one-on-one combat, the vampire's advantage in the areas of speed/agility and brain power would usually be enough to trump the zombie's indestructibility. But the zombic tendency to cluster together in large packs often spelled trouble for vampires when the two met out in the real world.

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Attribute	Vampires	Zombies	Advantage
Brain	Highly Developed	Barely Functional	Vampires
Eyes	Night Vision	Extreme Myopia	Vampires
Sense of Smell	Above Average	Exceptional	Zombies
Hearing	Exceptional	Impaired	Vampires
Jaws	Powerful	Vice-Like	Zombies
Nervous System	Normal	Capable of Repair	Zombies
Circulatory System	Resilient	Virtually Indestructible	Zombies
Strength	Exceptional	Powerful Grip	Vampires
Speed/Agility	Advanced	Stiff-Limbed, Slow	Vampires
When vampires and zombies were pitted together in one-on-one combat, the vampire's advantage in the areas of speed/agility and brain power would usually be enough to trump the zombie's indestructibility. But the zombic tendency to cluster together in large packs often spelled trouble for vampires when the two met out in the real world.