Famous Cases | Historical Tales | Vampires | Zombies
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Famous Cases | Historical Tales | Vampires | Zombies |
Agent/Witness: Lock Jaw
Base: Peoria, Illinois
Date/Time: 4/26/05
Incident: Me and my friends (eight of us, two teams of four, each of us on each building) raided the first building and found it empty. We then set it ablaze, after finding no evidence of humans (or vamps). So we then raided the other building. After opening the door, we threw in roman candles, magnesium flares, bottle rockets, etc. As soon as we went in we found four vampires (one female, three male). I took my eight-gauge Benneli and delivered a deer slug through the female's nose (her head exploded, painting the walls). My fellow vamp hunter (Moses) then delivered three shots from his .357 through the face of one of the male vampires, quickly destroying it. We then turned our attention to a much larger vampire, who was carrying a tech nine. We'd only been in the building for about two seconds, so he was still stunned from the flares and wasn't able to prepare his weapon. The third vampire was given a 9 mm round through the head with my Glock.
The final vampire was shot in both kneecaps by Moses and Agent Saddam with their .357s. He was immobilized, so we threw him in the back of our truck (a moving van) and drove him to my basement. Inside (he was gagged) we took him to my vampire interrogation room (the room is lit by a light my friends and I stole from a tanning bed: a UV light, a vampire's worst enemy) The light is on a dimmer switch, so we started it low and threatened to turn the lights higher if he didn't talk. He quickly cooperated, and the interrogation began:
Me: What is your name?
Vamp: I have no name.
Me: Where did you migrate from?
Vamp: We came here on the river (Illinois River), from Rockford.
Me: How long have you been in the area?
Vamp: We have been in the area since that large harvest (of corn)(since around September).
Me: Since then, how many feedings have you had?
Vamp: We tend to acquire one human about once every month (about 6-7 humans). We often had to resort to domesticated animal feedings.
Me: Were you the pack that has been stalking me?
Vamp: We became suspicious of you since your interest in the murder case.
Me: So it was you?
Vamp: Indeed it was.
Me: Were you responsible for the murder of the girl?
Vamp: No we were not, though we tried to feed on the murderer as he dumped the body.
Me: Are there any other packs in the area?
Vamp: No.
Me: Tell me about your previous life. Any children? Wife? Career?
(at this point the vamp grew angry, and attacked Moses, biting his hand).
Vamp: I'm not guilty of this, the virus is. I must feed! (During his speech, blood from Moses ran down the vamp's mouth, as well as from Moses' hand; he bled pretty bad, and grew angry. And before I could calm both of them down, Moses delivered a shot through the vampire's head, ending his life).
Disposal:
1. Both buildings were set on fire, as the bodies were thrown in the back of our van. Bullet casings were removed, and used fireworks are left at the scene, making them appear to be the cause of the fire.
2. The bullet casings were thrown in a manhole during a rainstorm, and carried far by the current of drainage.
3. The bodies were burned; all ashes disposed into the Illinois River.
Case closed.
Lock Jaw: Iron Brotherhood vamp hunters, Peoria Illinois.
Will tell of anymore activity in the days to come.
Comments from Dr. Pecos: 