The Science of Zombism
Famous Zombie Victims
By Hugo Pecos & Robert Lomax
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The zombie victim Hall of Fame is a veritable Who's Who of early explorers, as the prevalence of the zombism virus in the world's equatorial regions made any voyage there a risky proposition.
While attempting to become the first to circumnavigate the globe, Magellan ran afoul of some zombies in the Philippines. No discernible trace of his body survived.
The third time was not the charm for this intrepid Englishman. On his third voyage to the Pacific, he was surrounded on a Hawaiian beach by a pack of zombies he had mistaken for a greeting party. Several marines were also killed and two others wounded in the confrontation.
British Explorer, Navigator, Cartographer, & Captain in the Royal Navy
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Lafitte and his men plundered countless ships from his base on Galveston Island in the Gulf of Mexico, but they were powerless to stop the zombic plague that overran the island early in 1821. The U.S. Navy, hoping to contain the outbreak, bombed the island into oblivion.
French Pirate & Privateer
After discovering the rabies vaccine in 1885, the great microbiologist turned his focus toward vampires and zombies. 10 years later, Pasteur was gravely injured while attempting to administer a vaccine prototype to a zombie in Paris—a tragic event, considering that vaccines are now known to be completely useless after transformation. While his death was a major setback, the good news is that his colleagues were able to finish his work in 1911, when the first successful zombism vaccine was created.
French Chemist & Microbiologist
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