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The Science of Zombism

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Return to Zombic Mythology

The zombie victim Hall of Fame is a veritable Who's Who of early explorers, as the prevalence of the zombism virus in the world's equatorial regions made any voyage there a risky proposition.

Ferdinand Magellan
Portugese Explorer
1480-1521 While attempting to become the first to circumnavigate the globe, Magellan ran afoul of some zombies in the Philippines. No discernible trace of his body survived.

James Cook
British Explorer, Navigator, Cartographer, & Captain in the Royal Navy
1728-1779 The third time was not the charm for this intrepid Englishman. On his third voyage to the Pacific, he was surrounded on a Hawaiian beach by a pack of zombies he had mistaken for a greeting party. Several marines were also killed and two others wounded in the confrontation.

Mungo Park
Scottish Explorer
1771-1805 See The Mystery of Mungo Park

Jean Lafitte
French Pirate & Privateer
1776-1821 Lafitte and his men plundered countless ships from his base on Galveston Island in the Gulf of Mexico, but they were powerless to stop the zombic plague that overran the island early in 1821. The U.S. Navy, hoping to contain the outbreak, bombed the island into oblivion.

Louis Pasteur
French Chemist & Microbiologist
1822-1895 After discovering the rabies vaccine in 1885, the great microbiologist turned his focus toward vampires and zombies. 10 years later, Pasteur was gravely injured while attempting to administer a vaccine prototype to a zombie in Paris—a tragic event, considering that vaccines are now known to be completely useless after transformation. While his death was a major setback, the good news is that his colleagues were able to finish his work in 1911, when the first successful zombism vaccine was created.