(From Associated Press, November 21, 2001)
Legendary Vampire Hunter Helping in Search for Bin Laden
Top American military brass confirmed yesterday they have been consulting with Dr. Hugo Pecos, former director of the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency, for help in locating Osama Bin Laden. "Dr. Pecos' experience tracking vampires in the caves of the American Southwest gives him the kind of expertise we can use in our hunt for terrorists," said Army spokeswoman Cheryl Lukaska. In an interview from his New Mexico home, Dr. Pecos acknowledged that he has had several top-level meetings with Army leaders. While he would not disclose the specific nature of his conversations, he did say they centered around the best approach to finding America's Most Wanted terrorist. "You could drop bombs on caves from here to eternity," he pointed out, "and still never hit your target." Dr. Pecos believes the U.S. military has to focus on ground surveillance. "You cast your net wide, pull it in, and eventually you'll get the big fish," he said. In contrast to the cautionary notes sounded by many experts, Dr. Pecos is confident that Bin Laden will eventually be found. "After all," he noted, "vampires are much more formidable than terrorists, and we eradicated them."
Dr. Pecos ran the FVZA's Southwest Region from 1955 to 1968, and was Commandant of the FVZA Academy in Albuquerque from 1968 to 1973. Currently, he is in charge of the FVZA Memorial Fund, which is raising funds for an FVZA memorial in Washington.
© 2001 Dango Productions, Inc.