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Incident Report

Agent/Witness: I. Trent

Base: Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Date/Time: June 9, 2009, around 7:30 p.m.

Incident: While driving down a country backroad, I saw a raccoon with mangy, bloody fur, much of which had fallen out in clumps in the ditch. That's common enough, but what it was doing was rather disturbing. The raccoon was standing next to a dead armadillo with a cracked skull and was eating its brains. I watched it for almost 30 seconds as it used its hands to widen the fracture in the skull, scoop out tissue, and devour it.

Instead of running as usual, it sat there watching me and snarling until I left. Could the presence of the zombie/vampire viruses cause the increased aggression and odd behavior I witnessed?

Comments from Dr. Pecos: Zombies and vampires can transmit their viruses to animals. With respect to zombies, only early-stage cases are swift and agile enough to capture an animal. An animal infected with the zombie virus displays extreme aggression and ravenous hunger. Fortunately, the animal usually dies within one week of the infection's onset.

Since Louisiana is at high risk for a zombie outbreak, I would monitor the situation closely. Avoid traveling alone at night, especially on foot, and watch for lone, shambling figures that don't respond to your commands (and no, I'm not talking about Best Buy employees).

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