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Incident Report

Agent/Witness: Shane

Base: Yeovil, Somerset, United Kingdom

Date/Time: September 2-8, 2008

Incident: I was standing outside my house having a cigarette when suddenly a large male staggered up the road toward me, not in a zig-zag motion like a drunk, but more in a straight line with a limp. I felt my heart race as I saw that this man had some facial decay, including a hole in his jaw.

The man looked over at me and went to cross the road when a group of teens drove slowly past in the other direction. The man promptly followed them. Needless to say, I locked the doors and grabbed the sharpest knife I could find.

A few days later, I decided to search for this "man/zombie." I took along my folding blade and my trusted hurley (editor's note: a hurley is a wooden stick with a curved, flattened end used in the Irish sport of hurling) and I set out to camp the woodland area.

I searched an entire day for this "zombie" with no success, but what I did find made my stomach turn. In the thick forest I came across the remains of animals with their skulls cracked open, along with some other animal bones all snapped and broken.

I retired to my tent and later that night I heard some rustling sounds outside. As I listened closer, it sounded like someone dragging something. I said to myself, "this is it. I am going to die."

I mustered the courage to leap from the tent brandishing a can of Lynx flammable deodorant and a lighter. What I saw made me drop everything. It looked like...how should I describe this...a dead body walking. It had major facial damage and barely any teeth and it was missing several fingers.

Whatever it was got a hold of the scarf that I had around my neck. Luckily, the scarf wasn't tied, and I was able to escape. I ran as fast as I could to the city and I never looked back.

I am now thinking of getting a high powered rifle and plan to go back next week and eliminate the threat. I am afraid to report this to the authorities. The last thing I want is to be locked up in a nut house.

Comments from Dr. Pecos: While I admire your zeal, I would not return to those woods unless in the company of some dogs and a well-armed hunting party.

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