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Incident Report

Agent/Witness: Orin

Base: Sacatepequez, Guatemala

Date/Time: September 20 1995/early evening

Incident: We have succeeded in tracking the Thing known as "Angry Bob" to a village in Guatemala, despite losing Agent Boomer in Mexico City to Moctezuma's Revenge.

We followed the trail of Angry Bob south, seeing the decimated vampires everywhere it stopped to feed. In Sacatepequez we met up with former agent Shade and after Agent Steel broke his nose and reclaimed our stolen cashbox, Agent Shade told us he had discovered an old legend about a creature matching Angry Bob's modus operandi. There is a creature that became infected with some mutated strain of HVV and needs Vampires to live. Shade obtained a sample of the creature's blood after an organized pack of leeches collapsed a building on it in Tijuana, Mexico.

The HVV virus in this creatures system is self consuming: the cells feed on regular HVV viral cells. I don't know about the mutated were-lizard stories but if this thing produces a biological anti-agent to the HVV virus then we need to know why and how.

As far as I see it, the suckheads had to collapse a house on this thing just to give it a few scrapes; what the hell do we have to do to contain or kill it?

Like I was saying, we managed to track it to Guatemala and we stumbled on a group of suckheads living outside a village. They have developed a kind of symbiotic relationship with the locals. The leeches defend them from the drug lords and the village allows them to feed on the sick and dying or the old and dying. They also have herds of cattle devoted to keeping up the blood supply. It's one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. There are about 50 leeches here living without fear.

Angry Bob made his appearance during the full moon, like he frequently does, but this time we were ready. We had enough tranquilizers to dope up a whale and when Bob came creeping up from the treeline we let him have it with a harpoon gun we modified to fire our massive sleepytime cocktail dart. Vampires rushed out and threw these massive nets made of thick ass chains over it. It struggled for a moment before it threw off the net and a half dozen old ass leeches all at once. Agent Steel loaded and fired another sleep harpoon and caught Bob full in the chest. He stumbled and sank to one knee and those damn vampires came running back out and threw a napalm-like gloop on it and lit Bob ablaze. They were screwing everything up: Bob would get renewed strength every time the suckheads came close to him!

Agent Steel snapped and charged into the fray with his axe and started taking the legs, arms, and heads off of any leech he could get close to. They began to surround him and herd him towards Bob. Abandoning the truck and harpoon cannon, I grabbed my chem thrower and my axe and went in to pull him out.

By the time I hacked my way up to Agent Steel he was already in arms reach of Bob. Bob grabbed Steel and something very strange happened. He looked him in the eye and gently put him down and scooted him away from the fight like a protective parent. Steel and I bailed to the truck and watched the fray from a distance and Bob made short work of the vampires brave enough to keep up the assault. He ate the brains and internal squishy bits of about 15 vampires before bounding back to the treeline.

That's not vampire behavior! It was almost paternal!

The next night Bob hit the vampire hideout and finished the rest of the leeches for the most part.

What is this thing?!


Comments From Dr. Pecos: I was wondering what happened to you, Orin. Could you give me a description of Angry Bob? Do you have any pictures or sketches or anything? In the meantime, stay safe and stay away from the pulque.

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